Monday, January 31, 2011

Sorry.

Music: "Sara Bareilles" "Say your sorry"

So as you can probably guess I have a theme to this blog, what makes it so damn hard to say we're sorry or admit we're wrong? I almost always mean it when I say I'm sorry (That's just because I'm a so called "Goodie two shoes") in fact I really can't even remember when I didn't mean it? And if I didn't it was probably for something small that I later said sorry for on my own. But some of us just don't say it. Which  feels like all the time these days! I was once told by someone close to me that I "Always act like I can see the end" (That parson meant as a complement) and it is to this day one of the nicest things ever said about me. Because I always seem to think I was given a gift like that of some sort. So that's why I (Try) to always fix a fight between me and a loved one because you just never quite know when you won't get to fix things. Now, I haven't fixed everything in my life just yet, which is why I think I'm a "Fixer" for everyone else. My point to all this rambling is say your sorry so that loved one or friend can hopefully move on. Now, Conan is on so I must go swoon :)

Keep reading,
Jess.

Friday, January 14, 2011

Candlelight.

Music: "Little house" By: Amanda Seyfried (From the Dear John movie soundtrack)

"My tired heart is beating slow"- Little House. This quote is how I feel most days lately....We'll just see if this turn's into a sad blog this evening or not? But something about me having some time to be alone with my thoughts and the fact that the power is out (Temporally) I'm writing you by candlelight (Very hard to do by the way!) is peaceful and sad, because I'm alone with my thoughts which almost always sends me into a sobbing mess. (Ask anyone and they'll tell you I'm the crier of the family) I try very hard not to make sad post's but I think that one or two is alright now and then I'm looking around my house at our three pets. We used to have oh, what was it like 5 or 6? at one time, my mother hated/Loved it but now we're down to just three...Lost the second dog of my life just 3 months ago and just lost one of are twin cat's Bonnie and Clyde  (Mom picked those names) just about 2 weeks ago so it's been hard lately. Why the heck I'm still crying about such little things is what makes me cry all over again. If your a girl and you do this please tell me I'm not going crazy! Having one of those moments....Okay, DONE!

Oh what lovely gibberish I write, if your reading any of my blogs thank you :)
Keep Reading,
Jess.

Saturday, January 8, 2011

Very first pair of heels.

Music: "Fergie" "Labels or love" (Sex and the City movie soundtrack)

Hello Lovelies! Hope your doing well, I am in the mood to write today and have been inspired
by FASHION! one of my most beloved things :) You see a miracle happened the other day/a few weeks ago when I told you I had a doctors appointment about my body etc...Well, one of the things he told me was sense I'm not growing and they can't shape my feet anymore I don't have to wear my god awful AFO's ( Ankle-foot orthoses) or braces. which means, I now can wear as I like to call them "Real shoes!" because I could only ever where sneakers size 8 or 9/1/2 to fit the braces when in reality I'm a size 6 they made me feel like Bigfoot and they were an eyesore with dresses or skirts and if you have AFO's you know what it's like. So I got some Christmas money for new shoes and my mom and I were talking about getting some boots that were stylish and good for the winter and other months. Which now brings us back to the other day (You still with me?) My sister and I went on a shoe hunt and well, it didn't take very long because the very first store I went in I bought shoes. Granted, I didn't think I'd get them at first because 1. I was looking for sense able shoes. And 2. I never could where heels but my Sister pulled out a pair of high heel boots that were STUNNING! I've always thought any kind of heels were amazing because I could never were them (I know, you woman who have to wear heels for work are like, "Try wearing them for this many hours") But for girls and some guys that can't wear heels with the right outfit it's a big deal! For me, my ankles won't stay straight and my feet them selves are always up tip toe style (You would think that would fit great with heels right? nope) But my sister put them on me and helped me walk around in them and they fit! I could walk in them!!!! ahhh! I just about died! My first pair of heels! they're black ankle boots with sparkles all over so very mio! I'm still getting the hang of walking a little straighter and taller, but all in all I've found a style that works (I'm now a shoeaholic) and am thrilled to be able to whear heels with a nice dressy outfit if needed....And just thrilled about fashion again!

Well, off to do chores.
keep reading,
Jess.

Saturday, January 1, 2011

A New Year A new......

Music: "Debussy"  "Clair De Lune"

HAPPY NEW YEAR!! it's been a little over a week sense I've written you, I'm sorry for that but I just couldn't figure out what to say? So I'll do my best not to ramble....I always have things to say and subjects to write about but couldn't pick between the two that were floating around in my head so I decided just now that I would write about both. Now if I could only remember the second topic Haha (I'm having one of those days) Lately I've been having more and more trouble with the idea of love....Truly I've had half and half of what love gives, never one long sense of the "Lasting love" you hear about (Other then the love I think god and my parents have given me) and I get scared like I'm sure most do, that it won't ever show up or if it dose then something awful will go happen. (I know it won't if I don't let it) but for right now I can't seem to shake the feeling of hate when I see another couple holding hands, Making plans, etc... (BITTER party of one) it's a good thing I didn't write to you yesterday...Goodness! My friend and I were just awful ha! She's had a boy or two already but yet one of the things I love about her is she'll never be goo goo ga ga over some people or a guy unless it calls for it. I'm not saying the entire world is that way but around the holidays or in the summer time if you don't have someone even a friend to share them with is sometimes unbearable! It would have been alright if I'd had an old friend of mine with me but sadly I don't. I can't seem to remember my other topic so that's another thing I'll write about: "Finding friends" Having a disability is also rough cause if your like me you don't really get out much to meet new people. So when you end up losing or just not staying in touch with a friend (And your SUPER sensitive) it can be quite the blow. Yes, you have a cell phone, Computer, etc but not always a car to see those friends, and your friends don't always know quite what to do with you when you do go out. And if you have younger public school friends like me they can't drive and most of the time are in school or getting ready to start collage. I'm not saying I want like a hundred friends but meeting new people is such a big deal for those who can't. On the bright side though I have the most WONDERFUL friends! Friendship means everything to me, when I meet someone and we just click that's it! Your with me for life haha!! Well, I'm just about out of crazy things to say. Sorry if this makes no sense what so ever....Take with it what you will my darling bloggers :)

"To have a broken heart means you have tried" -Eat, Pray, Love The Movie.
Keep Reading,
Jess.