Saturday, March 30, 2013


Music: Possibility By: Lykke Li
inspired post.

One day I'll see you and know I am not crazy to have wanted this for so long. That staying up till all hours of the night wasn't wasted on just silly needs. To feel like I'm free when you call for me. When you smile at how  you see the real me even when I don't.When words are not needed. When I hurt so much I think I'm dyeing and you pull me back. When I have something just for me. To know that you're scared too. When you see the scares from my inside out. When I hate life and you're still with me. I feel you looking for me. Do you feel me looking and waiting for you to find me? I hear whispers and wonder if you've found me? I look around and wonder if maybe thats you? if we're looking at one another? I feel you so strong it's maddening. I leave my window open hoping you'll wake me from my sleep and you'll sleep beside me. I'll wake to see your face wondering how we couldn't find one another for so long? No words will come from me just understanding.

Friday, March 8, 2013

Write it all down...

Music: Rosi Golan. "Been a long day"

Hi There people of the world, I'm just writing things down to clear my mind. I'm feeling very worn down these past few days I've been in counseling for a few weeks now to deal with depression, it's weird to finally say "I have depression" I mean I've known I've had it for a long time now but until recently I've never really talked a lot about it to such a length that people are there to tell me I'm not "Crazy" and that it's a "Real" issue....I've felt a little better about getting help for it but more then anything I keep coming away from talking about my issues feeling empty and still unsure about a lot of things. I never thought I would be were I am today I say that with a happy yet sad heart....I don't think any of us wakes up saying "Stay in bed" "No one cares"  it's not really a self hate thing for me more of a body hate thing in my case....I look down and think "Why have legs if I can't do etc?" Again, I'm happy that I came to the point of saying I need help. But I'm a woman :) so it's hard for me not to wake up and just be "Cured" of it all. As they say "things will get better in time...."

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