Music: "Watch me" Paul McDonald & Nikki Reed
"If you don't love me now, why would you ever love me?" Lyrics that seem so fitting for me.....I'm sitting here writing to you thinking about nothing and everything, once again with nothing but my computer lighting the way and my feelings flowing though my fingers. Tired and anxiety ridden no less. sleep lets my mind rest, lets my body breath, and stops pain if only for just a moment. In waking hours I just coast through it all, while pain builds and bleeds through my skin.....dating has left me raw and strong at the same time. I give small parts of myself to strangers hoping they'll want to fill the missing ones....it leaves me strong when those parts are returned. What parts do I give today? Tomorrow? And to whom do I give them to? Well, that's all up to you isn't it? Trad for something borrowed or something new? I have everything and nothing to give you, I'm in a free fall just wanting to hit bottom.....to feel the earth against my back. To feel warm again. Maybe even safe again? Sleeping beauty had it easy, to dream until her dreams were gone and she didn't have to dream anymore. Wanting for nothing and waiting for no one.